Living with Less Toys in the Home

She was kind (as always) and told me how she used to wake up to piles of toys and feel the same way. She told me “My home always felt like chaos, and my mind and my heart felt the same. Then my responses to my children were chaotic, and that chaos became infectious in our home. We were angry without reason and overwhelmed constantly. So I got rid of the source.”

She went on to tell me how she had one large toy box where everything went at the end of the day. EVERYTHING. If it didn’t fit, it didn’t stay. If something was broken or more room was needed in the toy box, something had to go.

“We were storing up “treasures” and it was making us miserable” she said. “All of us.”

I took her words to heart and this past year, we made the choice to live with less. We’re not going for minimalism here, but rather intentionality. As a family of 4, there was no reason that we should’ve been busting at the seams in a 3 bedroom home, but it was beginning to feel that way. So instead of upsizing our space, we needed to downsize our load, and living with less has been a real gift.

So what does that look like practically? In this post, I’ll talk about what we did to limit our toy load and how we maintain it realistically day to day.

1. We don’t have a play room.

No shame to those who do, but we found 2 things to be true when we had a playroom. First: the kids never played in there, and toys ended up all over the house anyway. And two: it was always a disaster. We’re not hyper neat freaks in our home, but we do have the kids pick up each evening before bed because waking up to a neat home helps our mornings start off on the best foot. Also, when you have a clear, distinct place for EVERY item, it’s less complicated and clean up is mostly fight free.

2. We have ONE place to put toys away.

Each boy has a lidded basket (pictured below, linked here) at the foot of their bed. If it doesn’t all fit, something has to go. There was a season where our boys struggled with gratefulness, and we’ve actually noticed a HUGE (unexpected) improvement since limiting the toys we keep in our home. Dawn from The Minimal Mom talks about how everything we keep in our home is something we have to manage. What I’m willing to manage is lower than I thought, and I was pushing my own limits (and the limits of my kids) when I began each day with toys everywhere.

3. If the kids want a new toy (not on birthdays/holidays), they have to pay for it.

Before I dive too deep into this, yes our kids have chores around the house, and no they don’t get paid for them. We have our own reasons for this, and we don’t judge others for how they personally handle money. However, we do have additional things that they can do to earn a (child-appropriate) amount of money to save for something they’d really like, and I can go more into that in a separate post.

So why do we make them pay for it? Because I’ve noticed that just like some adults, kids struggle with impulse control. Ever gone strolling down the aisles of Target for “just one thing” and come home with so much more? Or have you been tempted by the outfit of an influencer? Our children are growing up in a world that is so used to instant satisfaction, and we are responsible for teaching them work ethic and determination.

4. We are honest and specific when people ask for gift ideas.

I have a whole other post about this topic, but we always ask that only 1 gift be an actual toy/physical gift, and anything else be experiences/giftcards. I have a Pinterest board of gift ideas specifically for gifting season, and I always refer to that to limit toy overload. We add to this board throughout the year and I purchase when there are sales or if I see something similar discounted.

• Mom tip! If your child wants a specific gift, such as a costume, wait until the week after the holiday specific to that gift. Example: the week after halloween for costumes, ect.

So why do we limit toys in our home?

Many reasons!

• Children get overwhelmed by a constant mess just like you do, they just show it differently. They may melt down, pull everything out and throw it around, break toys, etc.
• We can’t keep up with everything. If I want to realistically manage my home, I can’t put too much excess into it. It’ll feel hopeless.
• Most of what our children enjoy most are everyday objects. Have you ever noticed that your kids play with the box or make a telescope from toilet paper rolls? You don’t need much more! And creativity is best displayed when it’s the only option you have.
• You don’t need additional toys for every aspect of life. A great example is bath toys. You don’t need toys specific to the bath tub. Any plastic toy will work, and they’re typically more fun/versatile anyways.
• If you already have the object in your home, you don’t need a “toy version”. For example, your children don’t need a play kitchen. This was one of the things we held onto for so long because I romanticized it in my mind. My boys could be “cooking” while I was cooking, but it never seemed to play out that way. They wanted to play in a real sink, and scramble real eggs over real heat (with my help). Selling their play kitchen gave me an opportunity to teach life skills, and it freed up space in our home.
• Lastly, because more doesn’t always equal better, and more toys doesn’t equal a more fulfilling childhood. If you can’t afford it, (or even if you can), I’d encourage you not to bring lots of toys into your home, and to do your best to clear out what you can. You’d be so surprised the peace it brings your soul and the overall mood of your home.